the titan of rock and roll, Rock Wilson.
A complete history.
A long ass time ago, Rock Wilson was known as the Titan who brought song to the world by strumming strings of braided aether stretched across the ocean, the phantom who taught man to sing, and the soul whose heartbeat created what we know as rhythm. As the world of man began to craft music in his name, the jealousy of the Olympian Gods was quickly realized.
They were being real bitches about the whole thing and their greed for human worship led them to slay every last Titan walking the Earth, but what they could have never expected was that Rock’s life essence was preserved through the melodies ringing out in the world of man.
“Rock on mother fuckers, and I shall live through you.”
Unable to purge him, Rock was banished to a prison in deepest cavern of Hell. Much deeper than a human could understand, and more wicked than could ever be described. The dungeon sat silently in absolute darkness holding only one soul. Bound by the chains of eternity, the Titan patiently awaited his release upon the world.
In the heart of America, in the late 1940’s a movement began to sweep across the nation. The Blues. Rock could feel it in his fucking gut, something huge was happening on the surface. Little did he know, the blues was starting to take root in the fabrics of US culture and influence everything around it. The blues began to contort, it started to twist and morph and challenge its own definition. By the late 1950’s, the guitar became the forefront of the American band and Rock could sense a new sensation running through his veins.
With the invention of distortion, Rock knew the time of his release was edging ever closer. One particular night in Hollywood, a local band was releasing pure unfiltered rage as loud as their amps would allow. The bass was thumping, the drums were crashing, the guitar was roaring, and the release of one banshee scream tore open a rift on the stage.
Shooting forth from the glowing red burst of energy was what looked to be the hardest rocking mother fucker ever to set forth on Earth. Clad in all black, Rock Wilson flew from the rift and soared head first into the crowd who threw their hands up to catch him. The crowd decided to hold him up and pass him around the room as if to say, “Welcome back you magnificent son of a bitch”. Thus, after being locked away for thousands of years, Rock Wilson invented the stage dive within the first 60 seconds back on the surface. Fucking legend.
Needless to say, over the next forty years Rock Wilson helped to craft heavier and heavier music. While on the path he walked with his companions, he left a trail of trashed hotel rooms, totaled tour buses, and flaming guitars.
Music has never been easier to listen to. It’s on every device, it’s in every store, it’s at the core of all of us. After inventing the stage dive, the mosh pit, the headbang, the power stance, and the guitar face; the Titan had finished his life’s work. But he decided there was more to his existence.
He declared that it it's not enough to simply like rock and roll. It’s not enough to listen to metal quiet enough that people can’t hear it through your fucking headphones. And it’s definitely not okay to just let Steve from accounting play top forty music over the office speakers all god-damned day. He decided it’s time for people to stop being such bitches and show the world just how much they fucking love rock and roll. It’s time to reveal how metal you are and be proud of it. Scream that shit like a fucking demon and refuse to say sorry.
Rock chose a team of badasses to build an empire of shirts, sunglasses, hats, and all kinds of cool shit. This team is the new supergroup, the new band you would sit through shitty opening acts to see, they are the hardest rocking fuckers around and they want to help you be as badass as they are. They spent an incredible amount of time crafting the most badass shit and they’re selling it at badass prices, in the name of rock and roll.
*We can't guarantee the accuracy of the story above.
*The part about us making really good shit for great prices is 100% fucking true, though.